I Love That You Want to Protect Me
by cjstardust
Summary: Come with Me part III. Veronica daydreams about Logan and all the relationship-saving talks they've had over the summer. This is a little heavier than the others in the series...but still fluffy and all about the LoVe. *Also posted on AO3. Rated for mild language, and mentions of rape (non-graphic)


Veronica was completely right about how busy she was going to be. She spent the majority of every day busy in ways she could not have imagined. The internship was absolutely nothing like she'd expected. She had expected to be able to observe what it would be like to work for one of the most well-known investigative entities in the world. Instead, she spent her time making sure assorted agents received their coffees to their individual specifications. Honestly, it was kind of a nightmare. "Coffee bitch" was definitely not listed in the description of duties when she applied for the internship. Had it been listed, she never would have applied. Instead, she would have utilized her new PI license to do some good. But here she was; relegated to the frequent trips to Starbucks and the VERY occasional meeting involving a case.

She was treated so inconsequentially, she allowed her mind to wander most of the time. And these days, her mind usually chose to wander to Logan. The time she and Logan had together during this summer was priceless. They slept next to each other every night and woke up next to each other every morning. It goes without saying they did more than sleep. A lot more.

It was amazing how healthy their relationship felt, maybe for the first time. She had no lingering doubt, paranoia, or pathological suspicion of him or what he was doing. She could allow him to be Logan without trying to change him. And he was allowing her to just be Veronica.

They utilized the time they had together, just as they intended. They figured things out. They talked. Oh boy, did they talk. Even, and especially, when it was uncomfortable.

* * *

They talked about her need to solve cases and how to balance that with his need to protect her. Much discussion led to the conclusion that Veronica and Logan could be exactly who they were with some compromise. They determined that when they went back to Hearst, if and when she decided to take on a case she would talk to him about it. She would be completely up-front, and keep him apprised of the situation so he knew if he needed to worry.

Veronica knew that Logan believed in her and he could acknowledge she was fully capable, but he'd seen moments with his own eyes where she was overpowered. He'd admitted the moment he'd found her being held down on a pool table and the instance he'd found her drugged and missing hair in the parking lot were two of the most terrifying moments of his life. He had been so incredibly scared he'd lose her in a permanent way. He thought she was the biggest bad-ass in a pint-sized package he'd ever known, but he still worried about her.

Openly admitting how scared he'd been had really made an impact on Veronica. He'd admitted to being worried for her before, and had hired a bodyguard to protect her without her knowledge, but she'd been too upset to see his side. Now, she understood. To ease Logan's worry, Veronica conceded that he could accompany her on stake outs and go with her to places he thought might not be safe. For the sake of his sanity, she also agreed never to ignore his calls (unless she was in class), because missing his call would be his sign she might be in danger. If a case became particularly dangerous, he wouldn't ask her to back off, but he would potentially hire a bodyguard again to keep her safe. With her knowledge and consent, this time.

* * *

They talked about Madison. Veronica had concluded that what he had done while they were broken up didn't matter in the grand scheme of their EPIC relationship. They were broken up and he was allowed to make big-boy decisions. She didn't have to like what he had chosen to do in Aspen, but it really had nothing to do with her. Similarly, regardless of what Madison had done to her in high school, she didn't matter either. It was a long time ago, and Veronica decided she needed to let go of the past.

Being upset about what Madison had done with Logan in Aspen, and being upset about what Madison had done in high school, didn't hurt Madison at all; it only hurt Veronica. Besides, Madison must have been an extremely insecure, vindictive bitch to throw what had happened in Veronica's face. Veronica suspected Madison must be an extremely unhappy person, and she wasn't going to let Madison affect her or her relationship with Logan, ever again.

When she truly thought about what happened, Veronica was mostly hurt that she had given Logan the opportunity to come clean and he'd lied. She talked to Logan about how protecting her feelings didn't work, it only made the truth more difficult when it finally came to light. So, ultimately, they decided lying was a hard limit. They agreed to be honest even when they thought it would hurt.

* * *

They talked about Aaron and his violent streak. Logan opened up to Veronica about the abuse he'd suffered from his dad. He correlated his father's behavior with his and told her about how it scared him for the future. What if he was like his dad? What if he abused his kids? Veronica helped him see he was nothing like his dad.

"You're protective of me, Logan. Listen, Aaron hurt your mom, too. You have never hurt me like that, and I have never worried that you would hurt me like that," she said emphatically. "Look at the majority of the fights you've gotten into in the last couple years. It's been to defend me. Gory, Piz. Mercer. Yes, you need a better outlet. Violence shouldn't be your first option… it probably shouldn't be the option at all in most cases. Especially when you go in half-cocked and without the full story."

Given his track record, Logan couldn't help but agree. He'd pulled Veronica into his arms and kissed her head. God, she loved it when he did that.

Veronica continued, "You should probably stop beating people up when someone messes with me. You know I tend to piss people off, you'll spend the rest of your life punching people in the face," they allowed themselves to laugh at that, because it was so true. "But you're protective, and I love that you want to protect me." She'd looked directly into his eyes, "if you feel uncomfortable though, we can go to counseling. Talk it through with a professional."

As much as Logan hated the idea of opening up to a stranger, he'd told Veronica he couldn't deny the appeal in making sure he worked to be as mentally healthy as he could. She was surprised when he'd admitted to wanting to be a family with her. It shocked her even more to learn that Logan wanted to HAVE a family with her someday. It gave her butterflies that he wanted to be the best, healthiest version of himself for her and whatever family they eventually had. With all the talking they'd done, with all the honesty they'd shared, she couldn't help but imagine what the future with Logan would look like.

* * *

They talked about Cassidy and the long-lasting impact the rape had on her. She would always want to work toward protecting victims. She was a survivor, and she wanted to help others survive. This was another reason she couldn't contemplate giving up what she did. She felt at home helping others. She loved working with her dad. And honestly, she loved it when Logan tagged along. She was so happy Logan didn't want to change her, he just wanted to provide support when she needed it. Having his support meant everything.

* * *

They talked about Lilly. At one time, Logan had thought of Lilly as the love of his life, but he'd long since realized that what he had with Lilly was more like obsession than love. They were too young, and even though he'd loved her as much as he was capable at the time, Lilly was too selfish. Taking Aaron Echolls completely out of the equation, Lilly still had a relationship with Eli. And knowing Lilly had cheated on him had really hurt for a while.

Veronica could admit that though Lilly had been her best friend, there were things that happened that she never would have been okay with. Lilly lived to piss off her parents, and her need to do so caused unhealthy relationships all over the place. Veronica thought she'd kept Eli and Aaron a secret because Veronica would never have approved. She'd loved her best friend but hated that Lilly had hurt Logan.

Logan and Veronica discovered that they both found in each other something they never thought they'd find with someone else. They honestly believed they were the loves of each other's lives. No one had ever made Veronica feel like Logan had. No one had made her happier, sadder, or angrier. No one made her feel such passion. No one could hurt her like Logan had. They talked about it in-depth. Each time she'd hurt him (like accusing him of rape and murder—she was still horrified about those), and each time he'd hurt her (like the summer he had a death wish, and when he'd lied about Madison). They were committed to limiting the hurt from now on.

They also talked in-depth about the times they made each other happy or angry, because it was important to acknowledge the spectrum of emotion they could inspire in each other.

* * *

They talked about his mom and her mom. Logan and Veronica both acknowledged feeling abandoned by their mothers, and talked about the impact losing them had. They lost their mothers in very different ways, but it didn't seem to matter to them that it was different. As much as Veronica had tried to play off her mother leaving as "not a big deal," Logan had been insistent that she talk about it. His reasoning had been that they BOTH lost their mothers, and it didn't matter how. Veronica usually liked to ignore her mom even existed. She hated when people could tell she was hurt, but with Logan, she'd shown him the emotional wounds. They bared every single metaphorical wound to each other. Logan stopped calling himself "little orphan Annie," because he knew was just deflecting pain. Veronica had given him a safe place to feel the pain, and for the first time, Logan believed he was working to come to terms with Lynn's death.

* * *

They talked about Piz and Parker. Piz and Parker were obvious distractions, ways for them to try to get over each other. Veronica felt like she'd had no choice and needed to move on from Logan after finding out about Madison. She had been hurt badly, and when she'd told him it was something she could never get over, she'd meant it with her whole heart at the time. Turns out, though, it was pretty easy to get over it when faced with the idea of giving Logan up forever.

With Parker, Logan had felt like he needed to move on after seeing Piz and Veronica together. He'd known how badly he hurt her, had known he'd probably never come back from the lie, and tried to pick up the pieces of his life. Veronica understood, completely.

* * *

They even talked about the sex tape, though it was more of an awkward conversation than any they'd had to that point. The sex tape didn't matter to him, at least in the way he felt about her. He had felt such blinding rage when he'd seen it because he knew she never would have consented to be taped like that, and he was infuriated thinking Piz had violated her trust.

Logan admitted to Veronica during the discussion that though he was sorry about falsely accusing Piz for being involved, he wasn't so sorry for beating him up. It's one thing knowing the girl you love is dating and sleeping with someone else. It's an entirely different beast to see it with your own eyes on an email attachment. She smirked when he confessed to only being partially sorry. Veronica made him laugh when she admitted that had it been Logan and some bimbo on the sex tape, she would have tazered that girls' ass. That comment had Logan kissing Veronica deeply.

Together, they determined how to move forward in a world where Veronica was starring in a sex-tape. They were determined to confront the situation hand-in-hand. And when asked, they decided she should reply "the tape was made and distributed without my knowledge." Logan would say the same, but Veronica knew if he was asked, he'd have to refrain from punching someone in the face.

* * *

It was helpful for their relationship that neither allowed themselves to feel embarrassed, and no subject between them was off limits. They talked about any and everything under the sun. Logan sure as hell didn't want a repeat of the Madison incident, so he came clean about anything Veronica wanted to know. Veronica did the same.

Everything felt more normal now.

They both knew they weren't normal, and they'd have to go back to the lion's den eventually. It was one thing to be alone together an entire length of the country away. But Veronica was more confident in them as a pair than ever. They actually used their words and communicated with each other. It was surprising how effective it was.

"Veronica! Go get my order," she heard, breaking her out of her thoughts and pulling her back to the present. And even though she'd just run to Starbucks 30 minutes ago, off she went. She couldn't wait until the work day was over and she could go home to Logan.


End file.
